8 Film Flops of 2013
In a year riddled with big openings that failed to deliver, I take a look back at 8 of the most hotly-anticipated releases that ended up being pretty forgettable.
The Hangover Part III
The concept of basing a film around a group of men who wake up after a drug-fueled blackout is not the only hackneyed notion protruding this series. The manner in which the less funny of the four goes conveniently missing every time and the story follows the calamitous trio embarking on a voyage to save their friend is getting a bit ridiculous. The movie begins with the unnecessary and foreseeable killing of a Giraffe and it's pretty much all down hill from there. The enchantingly rugged figure of Bradley Cooper is not able to save this flick from being a flop.
The Great Gatsby
While Leonardo DiCaprio can do no wrong and I'm a fan of Carey Mulligan's also, this movie, flush with aesthetics but lacking substance was very disappointing. Perhaps because it had all the ingredients to be great means that when it came short, it looked like the local G.A.A. starlet having a scoreless county final. It lacked rhythm and some of the dialogue felt unnervingly distant. I was also not a fan of the new-age music pumped into the high-octane scenes. Was it an attempt to appeal to a younger audience? Whatever it was, it came across as silly and didn't fit at all with the mood of the book. If you're going to go vintage, then go vintage.
Elysium
So this one wasn't a hotly anticipated blockbuster or anything, but I threw it in in an attempt to relieve the gripes I had about it from the beginning. What gripes you ask? Well that treacherous South African, Neill Blomkamp had originally planned on making a film on the popular gaming series Halo, of which I am a huge fan. Instead, he rang up Matt Damon and co. and proceeded to make a movie which effectively plagiarised the Halo franchise while not having any affiliation to it. Luckily, much like Green Zone, another Matt Damon action film from 2010, it was full of action but lacking in any substance or likeable characters. Remember this the next time you try blatantly stealing from a gaming series, Blomkamp!
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
This film honestly left me with the sensation of "Oh my God, what steaming pile of feces did I just torture myself with for the last 2 hours". No really, it was that bad. One could tell Ryan Tubridy wasn't totally convincing in his advocacy of the film before and after pandering to the cast on the Late Late Show while also attempting the desperate assimilation of Will Ferrell. Look Tubbs, while I'm always up for claiming any worthwhile Irish-Americans who openly boast their roots (no matter how obscure), Ferrell and his compadres should be burned at the stake for this unfunny eye-and-ear-sore. A cameo from Liam Neeson won't save you this time, Willy!
The World's End
Completing the Cornetto trilogy, The World's End was Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's last hoorah in making movies together for a while. Shame it was quite a reserved hoorah as The World's End left much to be desired for me. Now it wasn't a terrible film, but it didn't hold a candle to Shaun of The Dead or even Hot Fuzz. The ending followed a cliché script and while there were some high-octane fighting scenes, much like the first two, the laughs were never consistent. Watch it, but don't expect the same amusement experienced from the first two.
Kick-Ass 2
The first iteration was fun, new and quirky due in part to Chloe Moretz and Nicholas Cage's characters. But this second installment was nothing short of putrid, lacking the brashness and arrogance of the first and following an unoriginal script. New characters introduced were drab aside from Jim Carey's and he was only around for a few scenes.
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Had Nelson Mandela been a gangster from Baltimore, then Idris Elba would have found it much easier to perform an accent not aboriginal to him. Unfortunately, his awkward blend of authentic African and South African came across as clumsy. Much like the life of Mandela himself, the film took a meandering path which was hard to follow. It harped the same worn-out liberation theme used in films like Michael Collins, The Patriot and Ghandi.
A Good Day to Die Hard
Going into this with high expectations after an unexpectedly enjoyable prequel in Die Hard 4.0, I was sorely disappointed. Feeling like a victory lap for Bruce Willis and the franchise itself, A Good Day to Die Hard was filled with constant action which felt very flat. The premise of the story was somewhat ridiculous, again revolving around John McClane's strained relationship with his family.
The Hangover Part III
The concept of basing a film around a group of men who wake up after a drug-fueled blackout is not the only hackneyed notion protruding this series. The manner in which the less funny of the four goes conveniently missing every time and the story follows the calamitous trio embarking on a voyage to save their friend is getting a bit ridiculous. The movie begins with the unnecessary and foreseeable killing of a Giraffe and it's pretty much all down hill from there. The enchantingly rugged figure of Bradley Cooper is not able to save this flick from being a flop.
The Great Gatsby
While Leonardo DiCaprio can do no wrong and I'm a fan of Carey Mulligan's also, this movie, flush with aesthetics but lacking substance was very disappointing. Perhaps because it had all the ingredients to be great means that when it came short, it looked like the local G.A.A. starlet having a scoreless county final. It lacked rhythm and some of the dialogue felt unnervingly distant. I was also not a fan of the new-age music pumped into the high-octane scenes. Was it an attempt to appeal to a younger audience? Whatever it was, it came across as silly and didn't fit at all with the mood of the book. If you're going to go vintage, then go vintage.
Elysium
So this one wasn't a hotly anticipated blockbuster or anything, but I threw it in in an attempt to relieve the gripes I had about it from the beginning. What gripes you ask? Well that treacherous South African, Neill Blomkamp had originally planned on making a film on the popular gaming series Halo, of which I am a huge fan. Instead, he rang up Matt Damon and co. and proceeded to make a movie which effectively plagiarised the Halo franchise while not having any affiliation to it. Luckily, much like Green Zone, another Matt Damon action film from 2010, it was full of action but lacking in any substance or likeable characters. Remember this the next time you try blatantly stealing from a gaming series, Blomkamp!
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
This film honestly left me with the sensation of "Oh my God, what steaming pile of feces did I just torture myself with for the last 2 hours". No really, it was that bad. One could tell Ryan Tubridy wasn't totally convincing in his advocacy of the film before and after pandering to the cast on the Late Late Show while also attempting the desperate assimilation of Will Ferrell. Look Tubbs, while I'm always up for claiming any worthwhile Irish-Americans who openly boast their roots (no matter how obscure), Ferrell and his compadres should be burned at the stake for this unfunny eye-and-ear-sore. A cameo from Liam Neeson won't save you this time, Willy!
The World's End
Completing the Cornetto trilogy, The World's End was Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's last hoorah in making movies together for a while. Shame it was quite a reserved hoorah as The World's End left much to be desired for me. Now it wasn't a terrible film, but it didn't hold a candle to Shaun of The Dead or even Hot Fuzz. The ending followed a cliché script and while there were some high-octane fighting scenes, much like the first two, the laughs were never consistent. Watch it, but don't expect the same amusement experienced from the first two.
Kick-Ass 2
The first iteration was fun, new and quirky due in part to Chloe Moretz and Nicholas Cage's characters. But this second installment was nothing short of putrid, lacking the brashness and arrogance of the first and following an unoriginal script. New characters introduced were drab aside from Jim Carey's and he was only around for a few scenes.
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Had Nelson Mandela been a gangster from Baltimore, then Idris Elba would have found it much easier to perform an accent not aboriginal to him. Unfortunately, his awkward blend of authentic African and South African came across as clumsy. Much like the life of Mandela himself, the film took a meandering path which was hard to follow. It harped the same worn-out liberation theme used in films like Michael Collins, The Patriot and Ghandi.
A Good Day to Die Hard
Going into this with high expectations after an unexpectedly enjoyable prequel in Die Hard 4.0, I was sorely disappointed. Feeling like a victory lap for Bruce Willis and the franchise itself, A Good Day to Die Hard was filled with constant action which felt very flat. The premise of the story was somewhat ridiculous, again revolving around John McClane's strained relationship with his family.
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